I've just finished Bernard Malamud's "The Assistant". I gather it's a 20th century classic. May I make a suggestion to publishers of future editions of that novel? Let's throw editorial restraint to the wind just once and add a subtitle. Let's make it "The Assistant: Justification of a Rape". Too strident? We could do, perhaps, "The Assistant: She Was Going to Fuck Him At Some Point, Wasn't She?".

Whoever scribbled "Never read this" on the frontispiece of the used copy I bought should really take to writing his or her warnings on the front cover from now on. He or she could have performed a valuable community service had "Never read this" appeared more prominently.

But to whoever wrote (I'm serious) "LONG LIVE ROCK" on page 1: don't you change a thing.