I don't think I've ever seen a sight quite so poignant as my (sadistically slow-to-fade) flip-flop tan. I've been struggling with my post-vacation grief for 2 weeks now, and of all the frequent pang-triggers (tree ferns, papaya, coconut shrimp etc.) it sets the bar. No mood is buoyant enough not be be sunk by changing my shoes and seeing that goddamn flip-flop tan. I do not wish to hear its nostalgic tale of winking geckos, eyelet-lace waterfalls and extortion prices happily paid. I want it to goddamn fade.