My recreational consumption of muscle relaxers induced a reckless disregard for consumer restraint yesterday, and I came home from produce shopping with seven types of plum. Apart from the obvious problems I'll face when they (and the half dozen other stone fruit varieties also purchased) all become ripe at once, I've realized I have another problem as well. I don't plan to live in the Bay Area forever. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be an Arizonan eventually. But what's a person spoiled by Bay Area produce to do in, say, Flagstaff? How will I contend with both lousy, never-to-ripen peaches *and* the constant danger of wind scorpions gnashing their preposterously oversized jaws at me?