It's hereby noted that I will not consort with nor tolerate the proximity of:

* people with more than one Jesus Lizard t-shirt

* anyone wearing any jewelry or other accessory that, when the wearer is approaching me from behind, makes any sound closely resembling that of a dog's leash/collar, thus making me whirl around to see the doggie

* anyone who claims that Larry Bird would not have been achieved all-time great status had he not been white

* boys who frequently mock-sympathetically explain their victory over another boy, in any sort of competitive pursuit whatsoever, by saying that their opponents "had cramps" [i.e. menstrual]

* anyone mistaking the voice of Merle Haggard for that of Johnny Cash

* anyone willfully flouting my ban on use of the word "bauble"