I don't "look" or even "gaze" out my bedroom window onto the street below: it seems I'm physically able only to "peer", lurkily. I can't do it casually, idly, only with a furtive. looming intensity. I'm afraid to look like a creepy, curtain-parting recluse, ergo that's all I'm able to look like. It's my way, just like how it's when I'm most sincere that I sound the most sarcastic. Yes, add this to the list of things others have no problem doing properly that lie outside my grasp: looking out the f*cking window.