Last couple days I've been toying with the idea of writing several - in my preposterous fantasy it was 10 or so - posts at once, manually altering their dates, and insisting to my friends they'd been there all along and etc. There is an immediate problem with this plan, though. Content. Godblasted *content*.

Couple things to avoid saying to people upon whom you've got a crush so intense it qualifies as a neurological condition:

- Upon his/her eating cherries in your presence, "I've f*cking told you not to eat sex fruit in front of me!"

- Upon his/her removing his/her sweatshirt and offering it to you after your repeated whines about the chilly breeze: "OH MY GOD, THIS STILL HAS YOUR WARMTH ON IT."

Particularly that second one, I think. Best avoided.