A note to certain (all right, nearly all) of my friends: despite your shrill collective derision, I remain convinced that someday, my octopus tattoo will gain me free admission into an aquarium. I remain convinced that, someday, in some ticket-buying queue, an aquarium employee will spot the tattoo and quietly wave me through. I'll never point the piece out myself or plead; it will happen quite naturally. And I'll take the high road and never say "told you so", my giggling, stony-hearted chums.