Objectively, I shouldn't have this spider problem. I have a fierce love, no pun intended, of nearly every other extant beast that others tend to fear. My fondness for hyenas is well-documented (some might say exhaustively well-documented, emphasis on the exhaustion), for example, plus bats, snakes, sharks, monstruous deep-sea beasties, hell, even non-arachnid arthropods. But beyond my embrace of Earth's least-loved fauna, I should like spiders, past simply not fearing them. Because if spiders were people, they'd have exactly the same taste as I do. Wouldn't they? What would a wolf spider drive, were it human? A bitchin' Camaro, yeah? With an NRA sticker on the chrome bumper, and Nazareth careening from the shitty stereo? If spiders were people, they'd be my people.