Friday, April 25, 2008

Among the things I can "[verb] people under the table" at or with is volume.  Baby here doesn't employ earplugs but camps next to the amps at shows, and typically emerge from my truck so decibel-dazed I can't walk a straight line.  Yet even I don't venture into the volume range available by maxing out both my computer's volume & the independent volume control on the headphones plugged into it.  It's too much.  It's genuine unbearability.  So I thought.

THEN CHILDREN OF BODOM DROPPED THIS HERE "BLOODDRUNK" ALBUM.  And while 15 seconds into it I knew: untested volume heights must be scaled, no, not scaled, flown the fuck up. What is this shit?  Is this what it feels like to shoot coke straight into your spinal fluid?Alexi, I give you 65% of my remaining hearing all too gladly.  Alexi, it is less than the least I can give!  Alexi, for the gift of these songs I would let you personally icepick through both my eardrums, leaving me able to feel only "Blooddrunk"'s mere vibration in the floor, AND THAT ALONE WOULD SUFFICE.   And in mere weeks I get to see it performed - I get to see you tear onto the stage and shriek "We are Children of Bodom and we are from motherfucking Finland!"  I routinely count the days to CoBHC shows - this time around I'll be marking off the quarter hours, oh, oh, every ropey-spit-dripping review blowjob this record's getting in the press is deserved. 


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